When Sharing Leads to Laughter-What We All Have in Common

This post was written by Valerie on August 10, 2012
Posted Under: Grandma Quotes

When Sharing Leads to Laughter

I have spent that last month talking to so many people and not just Grandparents or Seniors but all types of people and here are some of their insight about health, family and friends.

One woman I spoke to today was so young and she told me she had just had twins. So I shared with her about my daughter’s story about thinking having three children were plenty and then were blessed with twins. I thought as young as this mother seemed they must be her first born. She asked me first how well my twin grand daughters were sleeping. She told me her twins at two months are waking up around 2pm each night and are up the rest of the night. She also told me how wonderful it was for my daughter to be able to have children. She told me that she had five children from a previous marriage and when she remarried her husband wanted more children. So they had to try in vitro fertilization and it took a long time and many trial and errors to finally have the twins. She was so beautiful and seemed so happy and just a little tired. She shared with me how much a struggle it was and how lucky it was that my daughter could have children naturally. She has seven children and can still smile and look wonderful. Be thankful for our surprises.

Our twins

I met two women that seemed to have nothing in common and as we three started to talk we found out so much about each other in such a short period of time and each including myself were truly touched by our discussion. One woman had just finished Chemo and she looked radiant and even though it was a warm summer day she wore pearls and a beautiful black dress. The other woman talked about how loansome she is now that her family has grown and moved out of state. I spoke about my son who has been missing since Oct. 6th. We each had a story but what was so embracing for our souls was the common bond of hardship and still being able to laugh and hug strangers and for that moment bonded with ease and the understanding of growing older-living through all that is thrown at us and still trust others with our hearts.

Listening Can Heal A Heart on the Mend

One of my good friends went from a very large house to a smaller townhouse and then to an even smaller house. It is so overwhelming to many woman I spoke to recently that have had to down size due to numerous reasons. One woman told me she decided to move into a senior center while she still could make those decisions for herself and to rid herself of all the treasures she soon learned were not wanted by her children. Seems the same thread with many woman was that they held on to the family heirlooms and were the guardians of the “family jewels” only to learn that they are no longer wanted by the children. Most of the current 30 to 50 year old adult children want to keep their lives simple and streamlined. She did sigh that her fear was that she felt her grand children will wish they had those things she cared for from one generation to the next.

Many other woman and their spouses had to down size due to the economy and needed to sell or give away things in order to fit into their new surroundings. Many shared their tips on how to manage the task of parting with things that meant so much and how easy it was to figure out what they really did not need anymore. They all said they felt lighter and happier and also better that they knew they weren’t leaving such a huge task to their children if they had died.

The other side of that were those woman that shared that they loved their things and pets and wouldn’t change a thing. They still love to shop and even if their house is not quite “hoarder” mentality they spring clean and give away what they no longer need. They felt that perhaps things could change down the road and the things they held on to now could pay off for their family in the future. I know my own children don’t feel that way–they want zip. Well ok maybe they want a couple of things but that’s about it.

My son instructed his then new wife to not take anything that I offer even if I tell her it came from my Great Grandmother from Scotland. So when I did manage to give her a vase we tucked neatly (hidden I might add) in their car while my son ate chili peppers with my husband the next visit the vase was set on my kitchen sink and my son laughed. So did we all.

My Kids think a Fire Might Be The Answer

My daughter called me after the last big fire in San Diego and asked me if I was sad. I asked her sad about what? She answered that the fire did not burn down the house with all the junk I collected….ok it was funny then. Certainly not funny to the woman I spoke to who just lost everything in a recent fire.

This woman was rebuilding her new life starting with nothing. I met her at the Hospice Store and she was getting things for her kitchen and clothes. I asked her how she was coping and she said at first she was numb and sad and angry. Now she is just wanting to get on with life and normalcy.

I guess that’s what we all want really. I was happy my son and my two grand daughters were here right after the Aurora shooting. They live in Aurora, Co and go to the movies often. It felt so great just to hug them and hold them and share with them. My son said that all flags in Aurora are at half mast and will continue to be for the duration of one year. Normalcy I hope returns to all their hearts and ours.

 

 

Reader Comments

Wonderful blog….we all have so much to share and it is such a comfort to have this conversation as we travel on our life’s journey. I just lost my very best friend from cancer…she and I shared our lives from age 6…we had a lot of time to talk about our lives together as she battled for hers; her life was an amazing lesson in compassion and unconditional love. I have a huge hole in my heart and it is being healed by her memories and also the love and support of my friends and family. As Eddy said, there is nothing as important as that. I know that many women our age also are dealing with these kinds of issues….thanks for sharing, Val…love you!

#1 
Written By Grandma Sharon on August 10th, 2012 @ 4:17 pm

I am so saddened about the loss of your friend but I know how lucky she was to have you at her side and to honor your friendship. I miss you Sharon and love you. Thank you for your kind words.

#2 
Written By Valerie on August 11th, 2012 @ 5:30 pm

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